Diamonds in the Rough Page 22

  “I can’t imagine.” He exhaled and looked at the ceiling.

  “My parents told me not to tell anyone, because Adrian doesn’t want anyone—even me—to know. But I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. I mean, what kind of man doesn’t want to be involved in the life of his daughter? He gave my mom the deal on our condo, and he lives so close to us, but he hasn’t bothered getting to know me. And to keep from me that I have sisters? It’s so messed up that I can’t get it through my head. I needed to tell someone—I felt like I would explode if I didn’t. And you’re the only person I can trust. But you can’t tell anyone.” She looked at him straight on, her breath catching at the intensity of his gaze. “Okay?”

  “I promise.” He stirred the ice around in his vodka—he’d stopped drinking the wine after his first glass, saying that she needed it more than him. “But this isn’t a secret you have to keep,” he said, the anger in his voice surprising her. “Your parents and Adrian are the ones at fault, not you. You shouldn’t have to feel this way.”

  “I know.” Her eyes watered again, and she took another sip of wine, willing the tears away. “The worst part is that Adrian claimed Peyton, Courtney and Savannah as his daughters, but he has no interest in me. I don’t get it. He wants them, so why doesn’t he want me?” The tears rolled down her cheeks, and Oliver wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer. He felt so warm and comforting, and she buried her head in his shoulder, squeezing her eyes tight as if it could make this entire mess go away.

  “There’s no excuse he could have.” Oliver’s voice was low and controlled, his body tense, as if he might explode at any moment. “The only reason I can think is that the Diamond sisters never had a father figure around, so their mom must have told them about Adrian being their father. You have a dad—who loves you as much as he would any biological daughter—so it was easier for your parents to keep secret. But that doesn’t make any of it okay. Was he ever planning on telling you?”

  “Apparently he has a trust set up for me, so my mom was going to tell me when I got access to the money.” Madison sniffed. “Whenever that would be. She said some bullshit about not wanting me to know until I was older because Adrian said it would be ‘safer’ that way. Which makes no sense, because he’s letting Savannah, Courtney and Peyton into his life now. Why does he want them around if he never wanted to be a father? And why continue keeping me in the dark?” She pounded a fist into the bed, which only made the tears come faster. “I don’t think they were ever going to tell me the truth. Apparently Adrian’s my godfather, so I’m guessing they would have used that as a reason why he gave me the money. This is just all so wrong and I hate it. I hate not being able to tell Adrian that I know, or to tell Savannah, Courtney and Peyton that we’re sisters.”

  Oliver nodded, his eyes solemn, and handed her a tissue from the box on his nightstand. “I guess that explains why you’ve stopped talking shit about them all the time.”

  “Yeah.” Madison sat up and wiped away her tears. Oliver didn’t move his arm from around her, and she remained nestled against his shoulder. “I mean, obviously I didn’t like them when they got here. But now I know they’re my sisters.” The word sounded so strange when spoken aloud. “So I’ve been avoiding them, because I couldn’t imagine talking to them and not telling them. But the day before break, I was in the tutoring center with Courtney and had a conversation with her—she’s actually pretty nice. And I don’t want them to hate me anymore. I want them to know the truth, but my parents told me not to tell anyone. It’s been ripping me apart every day.”

  “I can’t imagine,” Oliver said. “So you wouldn’t have posted anything about them on a website a few weeks ago, would you have?”

  “A website?” Madison tilted her head, confused about where this was coming from. She was confessing a huge secret, and he was bringing up a website?

  “Yeah,” he said. “That Campusbuzz site where everything’s anonymous.”

  “No.” She took another long sip of wine and snuggled more into Oliver’s arms—the world was feeling floaty now, and she liked it. “I mean, I know the site, but I haven’t looked at it since summer. People with nothing better to do were making up stuff about me. I don’t have time to look at that crap. Especially now that I stopped going out with everyone…. can’t imagine what people must be thinking. And it’s all because I can’t be around our friends and pretend to be happy and carefree, as if nothing’s changed.”

  “You shouldn’t have to pretend,” he said. “Is the only reason you’ve been keeping this to yourself because your parents told you to?”

  “And because of Adrian,” she said. “He didn’t want me before, and I doubt that’s going to change because I stumbled on the truth and forced my parents to tell me about him.”

  Oliver’s eyes lit up. “You know what I think?” he said, continuing before Madison could ask what. “I bet your mom wants the secret to come out. If it’s been eating you up for weeks, can you imagine what it’s been like for her, keeping it from you for sixteen years? She didn’t have to tell you that Adrian was your biological father, but she did. Maybe she wants you to do what she couldn’t, and fix this.”

  “So you think I should confront Adrian?” Madison’s stomach jumped at the thought.

  “What other option do you have?” he said. “Continuing on like nothing’s changed is making you miserable. How long do you think you’d be able to keep this up?”

  “Until I go to Stanford and won’t have to see my parents every day.” She shrugged, knowing how unrealistic that was.

  “We have over a year and a half until we go to college,” he said, pointing out what she already knew. “It’s only been two months so far. No offense, Mads, because you’re one of the strongest people I know, but I don’t think you can handle keeping this secret for so long. And you shouldn’t have to.”

  “But what if I tell Adrian, and he tells me he wishes I never found out?” She could barely get the words out; it hurt too much to think about. “Or that when my mom and dad discover I spilled the secret, they never forgive me? Or that Savannah, Courtney and Peyton hate that we’re related and tell me that, no matter what genetics say, I’ll never be a sister to them?”

  “I don’t think they’ll do that.” Oliver moved some hair off her face and pushed it behind her ear. “But thinking about the worst-case scenario is only going to make it harder for you. You owe it to yourself to tell the truth and find out how they’ll really react. They might surprise you, but you’ll never know if you don’t come clean.”

  Which made sense, but it was easier said than done. “So if you were in my position, you would tell Adrian what you knew? Even if you thought he didn’t want you?”

  “If I found out someone else was my father besides my dad, and my parents had been lying to me for my entire life?” His eyebrows creased. “Hell, yeah, I would tell him. If Adrian doesn’t want to be in your life, then he should have the balls to say it to your face. But whatever he has to say about it, you have a right to hear it from him.”

  She stared at the remaining wine in her glass, as if the answers were there. Then she finished it in one gulp and reached across Oliver’s chest to place it on the nightstand. “I hate that no matter what I do, someone’s going to get hurt.”

  “True.” He nodded. “But if you don’t tell anyone, you’ll be the one who’s hurt. And you don’t deserve that.”

  “Thanks,” she said. “Although I’m not so sure about that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I haven’t been the nicest person since starting high school,” she began. He tried to protest, but she stopped him. “You know it’s true. I’ve snubbed so many hopefuls out of our group of friends, I’ve dissed Brett in public, cheated on Nick with Brett, talked about people I claimed were my friends behind their backs and went out of my way to be mean to the Diamond sisters the week
they got here. I even used Damien’s crush on me to hurt Savannah, which ended up hurting him.” She picked at her cuticles, unable to look at Oliver as she admitted all these awful things. “Maybe I deserve what’s happening to me. It’s karma’s way of getting me back.”

  “No.” Oliver lifted her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his. “Yes, it sounds bad when you say it that way. But we’re in high school, Mads. Shit like that happens. You’ve stepped on some people’s toes, but it’ll blow over. In the meantime, I’ve got your back. But this—Adrian being your biological father and your parents lying to you about it—is bigger than high school drama. So don’t for a moment think that anything you’ve done has made you deserve this. What you deserve is to be able to tell Adrian, Peyton, Courtney and Savannah what you know. Your parents might not be happy about it at first, but they love you and they’ll forgive you. Besides, you have more reason to be pissed than they do, right?”

  “Yeah.” Madison nodded, her heart racing. “And I am pissed at them. I can’t believe they could lie to me about something so huge. It’s like I don’t know who they are anymore. I don’t even know who I am anymore.” She groaned and buried her face in his shoulder. “This is all so messed up. I wish I could go back to how things were before, when I had no idea about any of this. It was so much easier.”

  “You would rather be ignorant than know the truth?” he asked, running his fingers gently through her hair. “That doesn’t sound like the Madison I know.”

  “You’re right.” She sighed. “I was just being dramatic. Of course I would rather know the truth. What I wish is that everything was how I always thought it was and my dad was my biological father, or that my parents and Adrian had been honest with me from the beginning. Then I wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.”

  “But this is the way things are,” he said.

  “I know,” she said. “I don’t like it, but trust me, I know.” She stared at her empty wineglass on the nightstand, her body tingling from the alcohol, her head spinning. Should she finish off the bottle and pour herself another glass? No. A fourth glass of wine would put her over the edge. And while a part of her wanted to get to the point where she forgot about everything that was bothering her, she’d learned what a bad idea that was after the getting-drunk-and-making-out-with-Damien incident last summer.

  “Are you going to tell Adrian that you know?” Oliver asked.

  That was the question of the past two months, wasn’t it? After Oliver’s pep talk, she wanted to say she planned on marching into Adrian’s condo today and confronting him. But in her heart, she knew she wouldn’t do that.

  “I want to,” she said. “But it’s more complicated than that. You’re right that I need to tell him, but I don’t want to do it behind my parents’ backs.”

  “So, first you’re going to tell your parents that you’re going to tell Adrian, and then you’ll talk to Adrian?”

  “Yep.” Madison wished she felt as confident as she sounded.

  He took another sip of his drink—the ice had all melted now. “That sounds like a good idea in principle,” he said. “But what if they tell you that you can’t tell Adrian? That they’ll kick you out or something if you do?”

  “They might get angry, but they’re not going to kick me out,” she said. “If they did, I could crash with you, right?” She laughed, but it didn’t help her feel any better. “But, yes, I’m going to tell them first. Then they can’t get angry at me for going behind their backs. I’m waiting until after Thanksgiving, though. I don’t want to ruin the holiday.”

  “Just promise me you’ll go through with this.” He traced circles on her shoulder with his thumb, reminding her that his arm had been around her this entire time. The amount that he cared about what happened to her took her breath away and warmed her heart, making it beat so fast that she wondered if he could feel it. “I’ve hated seeing how miserable you’ve been these past few weeks,” he said. “You have to do this for yourself. If you need anything, you know I’m here for you, right?”

  His dark eyes were intense with concern, his lips so close to hers that she couldn’t help watching them as he spoke. She wasn’t sure what made her do it—maybe it was the wine, or the way he was looking at her like he cared more about her than anything in the world—but she leaned forward and kissed him.

  For a second he froze, and she panicked. Had she read into his feelings too much? But then he pulled her closer, burying his fingers in her hair as he kissed her back with so much passion that she couldn’t breathe. His lips were so full and soft, and they moved perfectly in time with hers, as if they were made for each other. This was right. They were right.

  Needing to be closer to him, she climbed on top of him, her legs straddling his hips. He trailed kisses down her neck, and she leaned her head back, enjoying every second of his touch. She wrapped her arms around him, pushing her hips into his. A groan escaped his lips, and as he kissed the sensitive spot under her ear, tingles exploded through her body. She crushed her lips against his again, running her hand up his shirt to explore his chest. His shirt came off within seconds, and she pulled hers off as well, throwing it onto the bed next to them, savoring the sensation of her skin against his.

  His fingers traveled to her back, expertly unhooking the clasp of her bra, and the reality of what she was doing came crashing down on her. This was Oliver. Her best friend. Best friends weren’t supposed to make out and rip each other’s shirts off…at least, not if they wanted to stay best friends.

  Nothing between them would ever be the same.

  She pushed his hands away and redid the clasp of her bra, her cheeks heating from how close she’d come to allowing him to take it off entirely.

  “Are you okay?” he murmured, his lips giving her chills as they moved against her neck.

  “Yeah.” Madison looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. “Maybe. I don’t know.” She rolled off Oliver’s lap, grabbed her shirt from where she’d flung it next to them and pulled it back on. This was turning into one big mess. She ran her hands through her hair, unable to bring herself to look at him. “Honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing. My life’s been falling apart, and you’re the only person who’s been here for me, and it’s making me really…confused.”

  “Okay.” He breathed out. “I get that.”

  Madison’s face heated; she wanted to erase the past ten minutes. Did Oliver view her as more than a friend, or was that in her imagination because of how low she’d been feeling recently? She couldn’t bring herself to ask. It was too pathetic, especially after the way she’d just thrown herself at him.

  There was only one way she could protect herself from being hurt even more: pretend what had happened was a mistake. “I shouldn’t have done that.” She spoke softly, her throat so tight she was barely able to force the words out. “I was upset, and I had all that wine, so I wasn’t thinking clearly. You’re my best friend, and I don’t want that to change. I can’t have it change. Because if I don’t have you…then I have no one.”

  She hung her head, her hair hiding her face, hating how needy she sounded. But it was true. And she couldn’t risk Oliver acting like Damien had after she’d kissed him, how he’d told her she was a bitch and that things between them could never go back to how they were. She’d already lost Damien; she couldn’t lose Oliver, too. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. The thought of how alone she would be if that happened made her feel so empty that it hurt to breathe.

  “It’s not going to change,” he said, steady and calm, resting his hand on her shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere, Mads. I promise.”

  She forced herself to look back up at him, and the honesty in his eyes made her heart jump. “Really?” she asked, her voice cracking. She needed him to confirm that he meant it—that all wasn’t lost between them.

  “Really,”
he said. “After everything you told me about your family, I could never leave you to handle it on your own. And about what just happened between us….ou’ve been on my mind a lot recently, and I’ve been hoping that would happen for a few weeks now. But if it’s too much for you on top of everything else, or if you don’t feel the same, I understand. Our friendship is the most important thing to me, and I don’t want us to lose that.”

  “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,” she said, smiling for what felt like the first time since she’d gotten to the Prescott villa. She also had to remind herself to look at Oliver’s face and not his chest, which was still bare, since she’d thrown his shirt somewhere on the floor. Yes, she’d seen him in a bathing suit countless times, but this was different. It took all of her self-control not to reach out and touch him again. “And since you were honest with me….’ve been feeling like there might be more between us for a few weeks now, too,” she admitted. “But it all happened around the same time that my parents told me the truth about this whole mess, and I don’t know if I’m just trying to find something to hold on to while my entire world crashes around me.”

  “That makes sense.” Oliver reached for her hand, but he pulled back at the last second, resting his arm by his side instead. Her heart plummeted, but she understood why he’d done that. He probably didn’t want to confuse her even more. “The fact that you’ve been keeping that secret for so long amazes me. I wish you’d told me sooner. Then you wouldn’t have had to go through this alone.”

  “I haven’t been completely alone,” Madison said. “Even though I’m angry at them, I still have my mom and dad.”

  Oliver’s eyes hardened. “But they want you to pretend nothing’s changed. You can’t do that anymore.”